Tips for a custom-made Wedding dress

You think that now that you've found someone willing to marry you that the hard part is over, then you start thinking about the dress and realise that you are playing hockey in the middle of a cricket game.

You are pulled in a dozen different directions by various family members and friends who all want you to fulfill their bridal fantasies and before you know it, every Saturday for the next few months has been booked for you to go and try on dresses at innumerable bridal shops, none of whom are on your short list.

It's your wedding. Months of glorious engrossed planning culminating in the one day that is yours. Yes, you are sharing it with 600 of your closest family and friends (well, if your mom has anything to do with the guest list it may well be!) but it is essentially the day when you and you your fiance show what you are made of.

These are a few practical tips for having a gown custom made, borne of the frustration I have heard from countless brides on the subject of choosing their dress and what they wished they knew (or had the guts to do) in the beginning.

1. Research!

(a) Spend a week or a couple of months researching. Get a scrap book, open a Pinterest page or just stick a bunch of post-it notes in a pile of magazines, whatever floats your boat. Just go and look at stuff and keep pictures, the more the better. Often a theme will emerge through a pile of photos that isn't obvious to you, but will be picked up on by the person designing your dress.

(b) Choose the person who will be designing and making your dress and make an appointment with them. Go with your gut, if you have a good feeling and a good rapport with someone, go with them, but bear in mind that designers all have a specific style.

(c)Budget, Be honest with yourself about how much you can spend, but also reasearch about how much you can expect a certain type of dress to cost.

2. Remember that what you see in a photograph is often quite different to reality. On a photographic set,  a dress is heavily styled to give the appearance that the photographer wants. Sometimes this is as simple as it been draped in a certain way while the model stands perfectly still. Once she moves the dress will no longer hang in this way. Sometimes it is structurally altered and sometimes it is altered in post production (photoshop) We had a client a short while ago who was adament that she wanted no seams in her heavily tailored princess style dress because there were no seams in the super soft-focus and very heavily photoshoped reference images she gave us. The issue of visible seams came back to haunt us time and again during that job as no-matter what, she did not believe that the images had been manipulated. Even if the image is true to life (such as a friend's snap-shot) the dress will look different on you and sadly may not even suit your complexion or body type, which is why...

3. Don't get hung up over a specific dress. Be prepared to compromise and make the design your own. If you have found a pic of the "exact" dress you want, go to the manufacturer of that dress. Do not expect another designer to copy it for you,  It is not fair to either the original designer who put in the work, or the person who want to rip it off, and chances are, you will not get what you wanted at the end of the day and it will not save you money.

4. Shop alone, or if you are genuinely terrified of bridal boutiques, take one trustworthy unbiased person. No more. This is for your sanity as well as the boutique's. Designers and sales-people cringe when they see a bride with an entourage arrive. It is almost impossible to have a constructive meeting with someone when there are half a dozen other people screaming their two cents worth, scrabbling around in the rails and pulling out things that they like and generally getting in the way. Bring your family, bridesmaids, friends and pets to later fittings and preferably one or two at a time.

5. Unless you are planning on buying an off the rack dress there and then, DO NOT go and try on dresses. Trying on dresses seldom helps you decide on a style, usually it is just flustering and confusing. A good designer will be able to recognise what will suit you by looking at you and will get all the inspiration that he or she needs to create something that is amazing from your scrapbook. They do not need to see you in a dozen different dresses and don't want to hear about the day that you spent in ABC Low cost bridal boutique.

6. Know what to compromise on. We can seldom afford what we dream of, however knowing where to compromise and where to splurge can go a long way towards making your dream a reality.

* If your dress is a clean simple fitted design, a high quality fabric is imperative. In this case compromise on your details and spend the money on the fabric.

*If your dress is a huge opulent period piece in many layers, you can use high quality details on cost effective fabrics to create an expensive finish.

*If your dress is a two piece, make your top the centre of attention and have a simple skirt. 

*Two piece - top and skirt, if often nearly half the price of a one piece.

*Do not compromise on lace quality. EVER. cheap lace looks cheap. Good lace is expensive, no way of getting out of it. You may not be able to have a full lace dress, but a detail on your dress' bodice in an exquisite lace makes all the difference and is affordable.

*Don't compromise on structure. The internal structure of your dress is what gives it it's shape and fall, even floaty dresses are built over a structured inner. One of the most common questions we are asked is to leave out structures and linings to save cost. The answer to this is always NO (and if someone is prepared to do this, they should not be making your dress anyway) If your dress is corseted, have it made by a corsetierre as a dressmaker will not have the expertise to correctly structure it which means that it will not fit the way it should, will not hang correctly and will in all likelyhood be very uncomfortable. A way to get away with a more unstructured dress is by wearing very good foundation garments underneith- i.e. girdles or corsets instead of having these items built in. It is however something that is usually only recommended for day or cocktail wear where you would have one or two sets of undies and a number of dresses made to fit over these items instead of each dress having it's own support.

* Silk is said to be the queen of fabrics, the perfect luxury. However not all silk is created equal. As with everything else, there are high and low quality silks and like most things, the low quality versions are to be avoided. Like lace, the stuff that you really want to be wearing is expensive, however unlike lace there is good news. There are plenty of fabrics around in the same price bracket as a low end silk, but which feel and behave like a high end silk. some of these are synthetics or man made cellulose fibres such as rayon (don't wrinkle your nose like that, there are some amazing synthetics out there) others are blends such as a gorgeous silk/cotton blend duchess satin we currently have in stock that feels and wears like the pure silk duchess that cost literally 10 times more!  Rather get a high quality synthetic or blend than a low quality silk.

7. A dress is like a painting, start with the big strokes and fill in the details later. Don't expect that you will know exacly what your dress will look like from the beginning. Rather start with knowing what shape and fit you would like your dress to be and add on details as you go along. You can expect there to be many fittings for a wedding dress which gives you plenty of time to see the dress evolve and make educated decisions as to what you want the final garment to look like. You should not be expected to make decisions about where and how and what your lace-filigree/beadwork and or other details are to be in your first few meetings.

9. Trust the designer, but don't be afraid to speak up if something is worrying you. We appreciate honesty. As much as it is the designer's name out there on the dress, which makes us honest with you, you must love your dress like a child.

10. Take everything that everyone else says with a ladle of salt. Everyone will want to put you in what they would like to wear and therefor may be critical of your choices. Stand by your choices, especially if you are going for something untraditional.

11. A competent designer will not expect or allow you to buy your own fabric. Knowing what type of fabric is correct for a specific design takes years of training and experience which a bride, after a half hour crash-course on the difference between satin and taffeta (without knowing that there are dozens of different types of satins and taffetas, each of which has it’s own unique properties) cannot possibly be expected to know. Add to this, the unscrupulous, dishonest and unknowlegable salespeople found in most commercial fabric shops and you have a recipe for a disaster. Should a designer try to make you buy the fabric, run a mile immedietly. What they are doing, is firstly trying to get you to do their job, and secondly trying to put the blame on you should anything go wrong. It is easy for them to say – “yes, but you bought bad quality or incorrect fabric” A designer should also never take you with to go fabric shopping, the reasons behind this are the same, but more subtly put as they may say that you pushed them into getting a specific fabric that was incorrect or over budget. It is also a complete waste of your time.

Another reason is that most high quality fabric suppliers are not open to the public. Only people in the trade with an account may buy from them, so you do not even have access to most fabrics that are out there. Fabric suppliers give designers discounts which are quite substantial so you will end up paying far more than you should.

Part of the designer’s job is to get the fabric, so they will go to their suppliers and get you samples of various fabrics to choose from (which will be the correct type of fabric for the job and within your budget) Don’t be afraid to ask for more samples should you want to see more options, and ask questions – why did they choose this specific type of fabric, or if there are a few that you like, ask what the advantages and disadvantages of one over the other are, and remember you don’t have to make up your mind there and then, ask if you can take samples home so that you can see them in different light and think about it should you wish to.

Random hints:

*Wear correct underwear, different bras and girdles will completely change your posture as well as the size, shape and height or your bust.

If you are going to wear a separate corset under your dress, try to get the corset before you start your dress as often there are enormous alterations to be done to the dress should you decide later.

Correct foundationwear will also correct the majority of figure flaws from flattening tummy, rounding and smoothing hips, creating a waist in a boyish figure, and perfecting your bust.

*Make sure you eat before your consult or fitting as it is aweful trying to make a decision on an empty stomach.

* know your shoe height. The height of your shoe will change your bearing and proportions which may alter the recommended proportions of your dress.

*Try to start your dress at least eight months before your wedding. This gives time for fabrics to be imported if necessary, for time consuming details such as hand done beadwork and for the dress to be finished in advance of the wedding which means that there is one enormous stress off your mind. 

Also remember that designers do often charge more for short deadline jobs as they have to put their other clients off.

* Try to keep your weight stable. Toning up is fine, but don’t go on a huge endevour to lose weight. Chances are that you are not going to lose the weight (or if you do, you may well put it all back on after the wedding) plus fluctuating weight makes dress fittings very difficult and increases the chances that there will be a dress mishap on the day. If you are going to have any surgery done – bust, lipo etc, try to have it done at least six months before you start your dress fittings to give your body time to settle.

* Be honest with yourself and realistic about your body. Certain styles look fantastic on one body type, but may not work on another. Alter your dress style to suit your body, not visa versa.